Monday, December 28, 2009

I'll see you next year....

... and next year is only, what, 4 days away?!  It should still be July by my calendar...
My "calendar" is waaaay off these days.   Oh, I'm doing my very best to correct that.   And day by day it gets better.   I do a little something every day to make it better.  Things that I know I can do, slowly, steadily, one thing at a time.   Some days it is very difficult to do.  Some days this body of mine doesn't want to get out of bed when I have to.  Damn Fibromyalgia anyway!   (Of course, staying up until all hours of the night playing School of Wizardry and School of Magic on Facebook doesn't help, but that's my own fault, my own choice, so I can't blame anybody but me for those days.)    I think I'm about due for one of those "I'm not doing anything" days here shortly, which I really haven't had since I moved in November this year.  
I am really looking forward to the end of 2009, and the beginning of 2010.  I am planning a real little "celebration" for myself on 12/31 at midnite.   Not that this past year was horrible, some of my friends had it a lot worse than me.  It was, however, a year of "transformation" for me, to take the steps that I needed to take to be able to step fully into who I am, to do what I'm supposed to be doing.    It was difficult to do, because it meant walking away from an over four year relationship with a man who I loved dearly.   The reason?   To be as succinct as possible without causing him any additional pain, I will simply say that our life paths decided to head in different directions.   To stay in our handfasted relationship would be inappropriate, and we probably would have wound up hurting each other a whole lot more in the long run.   So the handfasting is untied, dissolved, and we've parted, both having learned some lessons along the way, to go on our separate paths. 
I'm okay with it, now.   I'm in my own space, with my three cats, most everything is settled where it's supposed to be here in my new place.  (I swear I will hire movers the next time, even if I have to save for an additional six months to pay them, if that's what it takes.)  I'm enjoying being able to do what I want, how I want, when I want (with the only restriction on that being what time I have to go to work the next day).   And so I'm looking forward to the New Year (on the calendar).   It holds lots of promise for me, for my life, for my spiritual path, for my "work".   
I do want to take a couple of moments here to say thank you to those friends and heartfamily who helped me with my moving:  Ben, Lori, Linda, Jean, Larry, Ameya, boB, who helped load everything into trucks and cars and bring it all here, and then unload it too; and again to Linda, who put up with me and my cats in her home for a month between when I moved out of my former home and when I could move into my new one.  I could not have done it without all of you, and I am so very, very grateful for your help, love, and support. 
Anyway, before I start blubbering here...  it's all good, you see?   It all happens for a reason, even if we don't know what the reason is for a long time after.  It's all a result of choices we make, even if the choices leave us feeling bruised and battered, wondering why (or why not).  We still somehow manage to get to where we are supposed to be, as long as our intentions are good, and our hearts are in the right place.   Throwing the "what's next?" question out to the Universe with a positive mindset usually winds up with a positive result, even if we're not too sure we're headed in the right direction along the way.  Our internal soul compass knows the right way, and will get us there. 
So I say to you now, I'll see you next year, and I will close with what I've posted here (and sent out to people I know) over the past couple of years.   Happy New Year!
To Everyone,
My personal Best Wishes to you and Yours for a Happy, Healthy, Prosperous New Year in 2010!
May you find positive ways to be happy.  
May you do what is necessary to achieve and maintain personal health and well-being.  
May you know peace and contentment within yourself.  
May you know the joys of family connections, be they biological or heart-chosen.  
Every day may you experience....
something to smile about
something to giggle about
something to belly-laugh about
something to make you say "awwww"
a hug from a friend
a kiss from someone you love
a "thank you", heartfelt, both given and received
a compliment
doing something positive for someone, with no strings attached, without them knowing it was you who did it.
hearing a song on the radio that touches your heart with a smile
learning something new every day
the knowledge that guilt and anger are both useless and harmful emotions
the ability to let go of guilt and anger
faith in yourself

And finally, the words of a song that I will probably consider to be my all-time favorite...
My Wish - Rascal Flatts

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' 'til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you
And the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get
Oh, you find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything, yeah more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish


1 comment:

Dorothy L. Abrams said...

Blessings on your house! I still want to take you out to lunch....2010 is going to be a real quantum leap which I am so looking forward to. Glad you have landed safely. D